D: Dude, Go Away

I’m not sure why it is, but I’m often approached/waved at by very creepy people.

Last Sunday at work (I’m a hostess/busser at a restaurant) I had a family come in consisting of a grandmother, a middle aged mom, and her two grown sons. After I seated them at their table and went to seat another, I happened to glance back and see one of the sons waving at me. Of course when he saw me looking he stopped and averted his gaze. Weiiiiird.

Then as I was passing their table, he put his arms behind his head and purposely stuck his elbow in my path. I narrowly missed it each of the seven times I had to pass him and sudden his elbow jump. Grrr. Then to make things worse, he kept waving and staring across the restaurant to look at me for 5 minutes at a time.

I might have looked something like this:

I don’t think my Jenna Marbles face was working very well.

It took me a second to realize that he probably wasn’t all there, if you know what I mean. But still, it was very creepy and in the end I ended up standing in the kitchen until they left. My boss was all like, “Marie…are you hiding…in the kitchen?” Me: “YES. There’s some guy staring and waving at me!!” His reaction, of course, was to laugh. Meanie head. But yeah, it was pretty funny.

 
You’d THINK that after one incident, I’d stay away from all weirdo men in general, but NOOOOO.

Monday, I had an audition for the orchestra at my school, so I hopped on the train (and by hopped I mean: walked to the station and became very sweaty, just missed my train and had to wait 20 minutes for the next one) and took it to school. The audition went great, the professor was super nice, and I made it in. On the way back, however, as I was listening to my iPod and waiting for my connecting train a man approached me and asked me if I knew when the next train was going to becoming.

Older, a little bit dirty, very crooked yellow teeth, and rumpled clothing. Mmm hmm. In my city that translates to: stay away; proceed with caution. I very politely told him I didn’t know exactly but if he needed to find out he could walk down to the end of the platform and look at the schedule. He said, “Oooh. Okay. Hmm. Are you from here?”

“Yes…”

“Oh. It sounds like you have an accent!”

“Nope, from here.” uh, what? I sound perfectly normal, by the way.

“Oh. Hmm. Do you play violin?”

He points at the case I’m holding. “Yes, I do.” No, sir, I carry this freaking heavy instrument case around FOR THE FUN OF IT.

“For money?”

“No, I’m still a student.”

“Oh, where do you go to school?” *whiiiiiiir alarm bells*

“I’m not really comfortable discussing that with you, sir.”

He looks suddenly shocked! “That doesn’t make very much sense. I could just guess where you go to school!”

I must have looked pretty peeved because he starts to explain why it’s illogical for me not to tell him where I go to school, and because I’m not really sure what to do in those kind of situations, I just unpaused my Beethoven and ignored him. The last thing I heard him say was, “Are you the bipolar or something? Oh I see.”

Eventually, he walked away. Presumably to check the train schedule.

WHY??? Why are people so weird?

Wait, don’t answer that.

That, my friends, concludes the “Things that Happen to me while on the Train” story of the day. Hopefully, there will never be another episode.

 

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23 comments

  1. haha, oh Marie you make me laugh. Some people, especially guys, can be pretty creepy – that’s for sure. I can totally relate with you ;)

    One thing: you have encouraged me so much about my book. With your permission, I’d like to put your name in my acknowledgments.

    -Tia

    1. Thanks I try! I think the whole point of my blog is to find humor in everyday things :) I think it’s working…

      I’d be totally honored and blessed to be in your acknowledgments! :D

      1. haha. Thanks; I’ll make sure to put you in there. ;)

        -Tia

  2. People. Are. Creepy.
    Like the guy riding his motorcycle in totally inappropriate gear(people don’t realize the ground is akin to sand paper and when you fly off and skid across it in the event of the crash, it will treat you as such) who sped up and drove next to me and stared at me through my window while I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day.
    Or the guy AT the Wal-Mart, who was actually an employee, who was staring at me while I was choosing what ground beef I wanted. To the point that the older employee who was working a few feet away and recently was talking to creepy dude was like “Eyes on me.”
    I didn’t even notice until later when Mom, who was further down the meat section getting chicken, was all like “I had a strong urge to walk up to that guy and tell him what for.”
    I guess we’re just drop dead gorgeous. Only explanation. What? No. Looking defenseless and innocent and/or happening to just be around creeps is not an explanation.

    1. Hahahaha yeaaah awkward. I hate when people are on motorcycles and don’t wear protective gear!! My friend Eric has a bike and I’m always like, “Why you no wear padded jacket??” :P

      Uh, true story. Our attractiveness is just THAT powerful it skips the regular guys and jumps straight to the weirdos. Speaking of which, I was buying some groceries for my mom once and the cashier just sat there and stared at me and I was like, “Could you please check me out?” *facepalm* that was definitely the wrong thing to say.

      1. Epic fail, dear.

  3. And my mom wonders why I avoid social interaction with anyone in stores. Or anyone…at all.
    I blame the creeps of the world.

  4. I’m pretty sure I would have called the police on both of the dudes. Ok, probably not. I’ve never actually called the police, and when I was little I used to have nightmares that someone was breaking into the house so I dialed 911 and had no idea what to say. Why does everything come back to my lack of social skills?

    But the creepiest dude I’ve encountered in a while was the dude at Macy’s. “This is cute, is it for you? ;) ;) ;) You have ;) GREAT taste ;) ;)” And the whole time you were making faces at me. Yeah, thanks Marie.

    1. I thought that one day I’d have to call the police so I’d practice what I would have to say. I was an odd child. The only time I would have ever had to actually call my parents, I ended up calling my brother Joe. I chickened out :/

      Hahah yesss! So funny. I didn’t realize at the time how awkward the guy was being or I would have come over and been more annoying :D

  5. I just tagged you in my most recent post. I hope to read your answers in a blog post… check out my blog post: http://tiallarising.wordpress.com/2012/07/21/11-things/

    -Tia

  6. Walking out of doors. That’s the problem. *resists urge to sing Spongebob song*

    Sounds a lot like late-forties-early-fifties-year-old creep customer who through some cruel twist of fate always ends up at my register and leers at me like I’m pole dancing or something. (I swear I’m doing nothing of the kind.) What’s doubly creepy is that I rarely look my age, so it’s like he’s winking and making suggestive glances at a twelve-year-old. Once, he forgot his pager so I ran it to him and said, “Oh, sir, you forgot this.” I don’t remember his exact response, but it generated some casual, offhand remark from me, and he, with the weirdest smirk on his face goes, “Oh, you’re funny.” It was not even funny! And I was so creeped out. And I ran back to my register and tried to fight the disgust on my face for the next set of guests.

    Perv.

    1. Hahah gosh. Yes, the work related ones are the worst, especially if they are done by frequent customers. Ugh. Even more weird when your co-workers are inappropriate, like yesterday this guy told me he loved me. I was like, “Uh, that was weird. Never say that again, okay?” and then he told me it was so weird for him he’d never be able to say it again to anyone ever. I don’t know whether to laugh or be freaked out?

      1. Wooow. That’s… a very awkward scenario. My coworkers and I are purposefully inappropriate, but it’s always in a teasing way, and most of us are female and the ones who aren’t are mostly married, so it’s just a funny way to make the day go by faster. One of my fellow cashiers jokes that I’m her Panera wife because we’re such a good team. And everyone calls our dining room attendant “mi amour” and we flirt with him to get garbage cans emptied and heavy boxes off the shelves. :P Then we pretend to fight over his affections. “Hey, I thought you were MY mi amour! Stop cheating on me! Break up with her!” But unwanted attention is harassment and it is bad and it can get people fired!!

      2. Hahah yeah I love that! It’s weird though because everyone who works there is at least 8 years older than me, so the jokes they think are funny…aren’t so much. If that makes any sense :P I can only handle so many that’s what she said jokes a day…lol

      3. Hah! We used to tell a lot of “that’s what she said” jokes, and occasionally still do, but only if it’s really, really horribly funny. We’ve moved on to “your face” which is odd, because we’re only getting more juvenile. :P

      4. BLLAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! I *hate* creepy coworkers! There’s a lady in my department who is old enough to be my mom, and she is *always* telling me how “happy” she is that we’re working together that evening, or how she admires the fact that I have the “mental maturity” of a 30 year old (I’m 21, btw). The creepiest part is when she flat out told me that she loved me. I asked her why (not really knowing what to say), and she said “just because you’re an awesome young man.” At which point my inner child curled into the fetal position and wept uncontrollably. Dx

      5. LOL! Co-workers *facepalm* I wonder if people who are trying to be flirty know they are being creepy…?

      6. I think the greater the age-gap, the creepier it gets.

    2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. HAHAHA. We need to get together and swap war stories or something–crap like this happens to me CONSTANTLY.

    1. GAH! Yes, and it’s beyond annoying. Go away creepy people! Please? lol

  8. Bahaha! Oh, wow. Some people just don’t get it! I think with the train guy, I would have answered “I don’t want to tell you because I don’t know you and have no obligation to divulge my personal information.”
    At least… I would have said that in my head…

    1. Yeah, that’s practically what I told him. Unfortunately my answer made him think I was bipolar *sigh* People…

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